Homosexuality & Christianity - Part 2

If you have not done so, please read Part 1 of my current series. If you have, let's continue.

So what happens when a guy who's grown up in a conservative, Christian home for 21 years and finally gets questioned about everything by his older brother, to which he has no answers? Then what happens when goes to a Christian school that was started, and led, by the moral majority leader and outspoken televangelist Jerry Falwell? Well I'm glad you asked, because I'm about to tell you.

First, let me rewind a bit. I made a statement in my last post that has haunted me since. I said,

"During the Summer after my freshman year of college is when I 'found out' about Patrick. Frankly, it rocked my world. It hurt. I cried. It was so different than anything I ever experienced."

Well that statement is, in fact, very true. However, it's only half of the truth. That was true from my perspective, but it doesn't take into account Patrick's perspective. One of my biggest regrets in my life is how I reacted to Patrick and how I confronted him. I don't know what got into me, and I don't ever want to know. I was livid, red in the face, saying more curse words in 30 seconds than I had ever said in my life, but it wasn’t that I said those words but that I directed those words at Patrick. Who was I, and what was I saying? You have to understand - whether or not you can understand - that Patrick was raised in the same conservative, Christian family and was making a proclamation that he felt but for which he knew he'd be scorned. It's one thing to look down on someone as I did, but it's a whole other thing to not know if you'd get be shunned, because your life was not in line with your parents' beliefs. Although this story is from my perspective, it's only fair to say that I was not the victim as I selfishly thought. I was the misunderstanding, close-minded, selfish brother of Patrick.

As I got to Liberty University, I was asked to be a Prayer Leader in our dorm (presumably because I was older than most dorm-residing residents), but that is what I did. There was a protocol of what was to be discussed, but I awkwardly led the prayer group while bypassing the protocol in order to build a relationship with the guys. I had a guy who's mom was Hindu, dad was Buddhist, and he thought Christianity was a "best of both worlds" blend of the two. It was really interesting for me to immerse myself as I was older than most of the guys, I had already been in college for 3 years, and I didn't have nearly as much energy as they did. We had social events with our "sister dorm" of which we went to dinner and church together. I remember being bored during the Wednesday night services and preferred to sleep than listen. I was thinking that I wasn't a good Christian, but the reaction of those around me was a little different than I had heard from the previous institution.

My friends and the people around me told me to not worry about it, to find a church that was better for me, to engage how I wanted to engage, not how I should be engaged according to them. At the previous school, we were forced to go to church, their campus church, Sunday morning and night and Wednesday night. Having a choice for myself opened up many options. This was the necessary ingredient for me to start questioning life on my own and seeking my answers for myself, not for anyone around me. I attended chapel 3x a week - a requirement at Liberty - of which 1 per week was led by Jerry Falwell himself.

I saw a different side of Dr. Falwell than most people saw. I quickly realized that he was not the cold-hearted, heartless tv icon that was shown on many screens around the country. He was a good ole country boy with a warm heart. He would stop his vehicle and give students rides to class. He was an ornery old man who was sarcastic and pretty funny. He actually cared about people a lot more than people gave him credit. That to say, I didn't agree with a lot of things he said either. I would have rather him be the the personal, warm-hearted guy than the flat, e-evangelist that people knew. He was not afraid to make fun of the "tree huggers" and environmentalists. Having grown up in Colorado, that rubbed me the wrong way, just to name one example.

All that to say is that Dr. Falwell was perceived differently in America than he should have been based upon what I saw. He wasn't always the most tactful person, but it was even said that he remained friends with Mel While until Dr Falwell passed away. He was not afraid to tell you what he thought, even if it wasn't what you wanted to hear. Whether or not he heard it and forgave it I don't know, but one of my biggest frustrations/annoyances/angers was when kids peers around me would use the adjective "gay" as the opposite of cool. That is extremely asinine, yet it happens so often in Christian circles. We would be so offended if "the world" started using "christian" as an adjective to describe something. Think about it. "The cop pulled me over the other day and gave me a ticket. That's SO Christian of him." It might not mean anything to anyone, but even if you disagree with someone's lifestyle, please let us not speak in an ignorant, intolerant tone. Disagree, but don't attack the person. We are ALL God's people, made in His image. Remember that. I hope that people reading this implore themselves about this. It SHOULD make us feel uncomfortable, and we SHOULD stop doing it. People think it's not that big of a deal, but I say it's not that big of a deal to stop.

During Spring Break of my senior year, my friend, David, and I visited Patrick in Los Angeles. It was quite the fun trip, but it was interesting for me too. As I met some of Patrick's friends, they, naturally asked me where I went to college. As soon as I said "Liberty Universtity" their face grimaced and they knew who was the ringleader. It was a really unique opportunity for me though, because I felt like I was in a special place. They quickly warmed up to me after they found out I wasn't judging them and that I wasn't an exact Jerry replica. They were relieved when I voiced that I knew a different side of him than tv-watching America knew of him. It was at that moment that I started to realize what was happening: I was a Liberty University student with a gay brother. While most people would think of this as an internal war, I accepted it as an opportunity. Although I had come a long way in my journey, this was only the beginning of the ongoing journey.

Although Liberty was a small ingredient in my journey to date, it was a necessary foundation for how I would become as a person. My series thus far has been my story, but part 3 of the series will mainly involve my thoughts as much as the point in the story that I currently am. Already, God started opening my mind to those around me and to not be so self focused on my journey ahead - more of my thoughts, and my final thoughts on homosexuality and Christianity in part 3 to come.