my time right now

i know i promised a blog post by the end of the week, and, although it is technically next week, sundays are a continuation of the previous week and mondays are the start of the new week in my mind. if you don't hold to this view, i apologize for misleading you.

my time right now is an interesting one. having lived in the denver area for 10 months, denver proper for 3, it has been a fast-moving and adventurous ride. i have come to grips with several ideas that i often think about in life. 

1. i am where i am for a reason. although we don't always know why we are where we are, it is good to realize that you are where you are and there's a reason for that. i, just as much as any of you, always think about the next step, where i'll be in 5 or 10 years, and what my life will look like at that point. i have come to realize that even if i wish things were different, things are how they are and in time can things change. if i can control change, i am in charge. if not, i have to adapt. 

2. timing is everything. i always think about traveling and living in another country. that may not be the right thing for me at this time. if, for example, i were to up and move to another country, it might not be the right time for me and i wouldn't have the experience i would have if i wait until the right time. i also realize the things i fantasize about living in another country, i have right here in denver - albeit not with the other culture which is a large part of living elsewhere. 

3. relationships are key. i have been fortunate to make several friends that live throughout the world, but i will never be able to live with all of them at once. once again, i have found several awesome friends here in denver. in the last week, we have hungout with friends every night, including different sets of friends most of those nights. all of them are in the same stage of life and most are like-minded in several areas. i know that i can not have this forever, but i am definitely beyond grateful for having it and making my denver experience that much more fun. i also don't say this in an arrogant way, but in a humbling way that i don't deserve the friends i have been given. 

4. faith is fundamental. when i moved back to colorado, i had a few priorities - the two largest being that i find a church to get plugged into and that i find a good job. the second week i was here, i found the church i am currently attending - fellowship denver church in downtown denver. it has been really amazing in every facet of my life. i love knowing the pastors personally and "fellowshipping" with the fellow members. a lot of my awesome friends are from that church (including my 3 roommates), and it is awesome. the job i have is a very corporate job in every sense of the word. it is very competitive, people just look out for themselves, and most people are willing to step on other people just to get ahead. i like competition, but if it means the loss of someone else, i don't want to do it. i'd much rather help someone improve themselves then use their weakness to my advantage. i'm not a conformist and that is what makes someone a good corporate worker. with all of that said, i am very happy where i'm at. i know God gave me that job for a reason and it is definitely a means to and end. they know that i don't plan on working there my whole life. they know i want to move on and move elsewhere. ironically, they appreciate my honesty and respect i'm not trying to be secretive with my intentions. 

5. God knows best.  i am obviously a christian (and i hope i display this in my everyday living) and in that i fully trust God in my life. without getting into philosophies too much (another discussion for another time), there are admittedly some times in my life that i have a hard time believing God exists - whether it's in trial, tribulation, or wrath. however, i always find it impossible to believe God does not exist. i can understand how atheists claim to believe God does not exist, because they look at the manure in life. we try to rationalize life, and God cannot necessarily be rationalized. can we as humans always rationalize the love we share towards our close friends or spouse? then how can we rationalize a being so much greater than that human feeling? humans tend to look at the manure i alluded to and say that if God allows manure than he is not a loving God. atheists look at the manure. christians look at the flowers that grow as a result of the manure. to illustrate my very simple (and all-over-the-map) view of God i think of it as this: we are all magnets on a table and we try to move around and live our lives on our own. occasionally we find good things and good things happen to us. God is a metal that moves us from under the table. our faith is like the magnetic force that binds God to us - we can't see it, we can evidentially feel it, and it guides our life. while some wander on their own, we are guided by this metal we can't see. while some people say that we are just moving randomly like they are, we know there is a magnetic force that we cannot describe but we can feel it. we don't apodictically know that God is there, but there is so much conclusive evidence, it is impossible to not believe He is there. forgive my illustration, but if nothing else, it should give you a glimpse into the mind of sean. i'm a random thinker and occasionally i hit the point. 

this is a summation of my life and where i am. i am very thankful for where i am, and i only have God to thank for giving me what i have. my one goal in life is to give back to His kingdom what He has blessed me with - which, in all fullness, is what i am trying to figure out what that looks like in my life every day.